Not
acting on our habitual patterns is only the first step toward not
harming others or ourselves. The transformative process begins at a
deeper level when we contact the rawness we’re left with whenever we
refrain. As a way of working with our aggressive tendencies, Dzigar
Kongtrül teaches the nonviolent practice of simmering. He says that
rather than “boil in our aggression like a piece of meat cooking in a
soup,” we simmer in it. We allow ourselves to wait, to sit patiently
with the urge to act or speak in our usual ways and feel the full force
of that urge without turning away or giving in. Neither repressing nor
rejecting, we stay in the middle between the two extremes, in the middle
between yes and no, right and wrong, true and false. This is the
journey of developing a kindhearted and courageous tolerance for our
pain.From Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change by Pema Chödrön (Now in paperback!), page 51 Visit: blog.shambhala.com for more articles.
