"Is there anything I can do?" can be an exhausting question. Here's a list you can put on your computer, modify to your circumstances, and send out to whoever asks!
Compiled by an Australian woman who died of cancer.
Practical things:
• Mow our lawn • Make me dinner • Come over & quietly clean something in my house • Invite me to something fun you are doing • Take me to a movie • Meet me for coffee • Send me a card of encouragement • Leave some organic fruit in a basket on my doorstep. • Share something from your veggie garden. • Plant something in my veggie garden • Send me a text when you are grocery shopping and ask me if I need anything • Find out when I have to go to the hospital for treatment and drive me or visit me there • Visit my elderly parent(s) when I am too sick to see them • Take my dog for a walk • Hire a housecleaner for me.
Kindnesses that take little effort but that can be powerfully uplifting:
• Tell me that you have said a prayer, or sent positive vibes into the universe for me • Write me a note telling me why I matter • Send me an email or text every now and then just to say you are thinking of me…and don't expect a response • Share a memory of me that is special to you • Talk to me like a normal person, not a diagnosis. Let me enjoy time with you when cancer is not the main topic of conversation • Let me know you care – I don't want my disease or treatment to be the first thing that you ask about, but acknowledge the reality of what I am going through. • Do something challenging and tell me that you were thinking of me while you did it (the Relay for Life, a long distance event, a hike up a mountain) • Do something for my husband, who supports me. • Give me a hug and tell me that you love me .
The effects of emotional support for someone who is unwell, and their carer(s) cannot be understated. Feeling understood, acknowledged and loved goes a long way to creating a healing environment. You may even find that doing a good turn for someone has positive effects for you too.
Ruth Terracini, March 2015
