Most of us would say that one of the most painful experiences in life is being criticized or judged by our loved ones.
Yes, it feels painful and yucky to feel rejection or “not feeling
enough” in the eyes of those that we deeply care for and desire to be
loved and accepted by, but there’s something that is more painful than
any rejection that we can receive from others.
It’s the rejection and criticism of ourselves.
Self-criticism and judgement is the way you break your own heart. Self-criticism and judgement stem from holding ourselves to an
external measure of performance and/or being. It’s striving for an
unattainable goal of perfection that can never be reached.
Perfection is a tricky issue. First of all, it doesn’t exist. There is no fixed place called “PERFECTION” that we can hang out in if we work hard enough.
Life is an ongoing calibration process, and ongoing learning game!
But the concept of perfection serves us in subtle ways that we might not
recognize at first. We often times use perfection both as a safety-zone
as well as a way of punishing ourselves. Perfection is an excuse and a safety zone.
