“As it is, we are merely bolting our lives—gulping down undigested
experiences as fast as we can stuff them in—because awareness of our own
existence is so superficial and so narrow that nothing seems to us more
boring than simple being. If I ask you what you did, saw, heard,
smelled, touched and tasted yesterday, I am likely to get nothing more
than the thin, sketchy outline of the few things that you noticed, and
of those only what you thought worth remembering. Is it surprising that
an existence so experienced seems so empty and bare that its hunger for
an infinite future is insatiable? But suppose you could answer, ‘It
would take me forever to tell you, and I am much too interested in
what’s happening now.’ How is it possible that a being with such
sensitive jewels as the eyes, such enchanted musical instruments as the
ears, and such a fabulous arabesque of nerves as the brain can
experience itself as anything less than a god? And, when you consider
that this incalculably subtle organism is inseparable from the still
more marvelous patterns of its environment—from the minutest electrical
designs to the whole company of the galaxies—how is it conceivable that
this incarnation of all eternity can be bored with being?”
~ Alan Watts,
The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are.
It’s quite likely that few who read these words really
understand what they mean. It’s not that this is hard to understand;
it’s incredibly easy, but the mind has a way of circumventing
simplicity. It has a way of by passing the present moment to seek out
and constantly engage in either a projected future or a remembered past.
It is amazing just how much of our lives is held to ransom by
passing emotional infatuations. Life slips by, unnoticed, because we are
so continuously mentally and emotionally busy with the things that
appear to be happening to us and around us; to say nothing of our
private mental preoccupations. Eventually though, a moment is bound to
come in our day or night, when we look up and become aware, with a
sudden jolt, that much time passed. What were we doing? Where did the
time go?
My master Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche had a graphic way of describing
this moment and I love to recount it whenever there is a chance. He
would liken people to children who are caught up in the playing of a
game. They are so swept along by what is happening in their game that
they fail to notice anything else, until suddenly they feel hungry or
tired and then they look up and see that it is already getting dark,
that the sun is about to disappear behind the horizon, that hours
have passed by unnoticed and that they are far from home.
Being engrossed in the outer movements of life may not seem in any
way connected to the intransigent mood of boredom and yet on
closer scrutiny these two states are intimately intertwined. Boredom
and distraction, are part of the vicious cycle of samsara,
endlessly repeating itself. A cycle of almost constant superficial
engagement or dullness which eats up all our time and energy by
engrossing our attention in outer things which are neither essential nor
important.
Our entire life can pass us by in this half conscious manner until
we come to face the moment of our death, or some other
life-shaking crisis which makes us suddenly realize that we do not know
who and what we really are. Throughout our lives and even more
particularly at the end of our life, this and this alone is the crucial
question; the one and only question. Investigating the state of who and
what we really are is the quickest and most direct path to truth.
Boredom, like distraction, is a symptom of disconnection with our inner sense of
beingness. Modern society does little to turn us inward and much to contribute to the rampant
dis-ease
of inner alienation. Many of the psychoses of modern societies arise
from this very imbalance. However, we can turn this around without even
changing the situation in which we find ourselves placed.
Self-inquiry is an inner attention. It requires nothing but
alertness and determination. Moments amid nature; moments of silence and
inner quietude can help us in the beginning. In the midst of nature we
can easily gain a sense of the aware presence which is fundamental to
our existence. However, as we become more sensitive and alert we will
begin realise that we are never separated from this.
Learning how to notice this presence is the key to fulfilling
our purpose in life; it is also the sure and ultimate antidote to
the modern diseases of boredom and distraction.
